Negative Zero: Soldier of Light Chronicles Book 1

  Negative Zero

  Soldier of Light Chronicles Book One

  Ireland Gill

  Contents

  Dedication

  1. Hello, Paris

  2. Goodbye, Sanity

  3. Death Becomes Me

  4. Visiting Hours

  5. Dark Knight

  6. Let the Questions Begin

  7. I Am Legend

  8. Tandem

  9. Roulette

  10. A Talk in the Clouds

  11. Curtains

  12. Two Angels and a Girl

  13. Curiosity Killed The …

  14. Any Fate But This

  15. Another Curtain

  16. Perspective

  17. Middle of the Night

  18. Elephant in the Room

  19. Tears of the Sky

  The adventure continues…

  Copyright © 2019 by Ireland Gill. All rights reserved.

  This novel is a work of fiction. All characters, places, and incidents described in this publication are used fictitiously, or are entirely fictional. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means – electronic, mechanical, photographic (photocopying), recording, or otherwise – without prior permission in writing from the author. Inquiries may be addressed via email to ireland@irelandgill.com.

  Cover Design by Yvonne Less, Art 4 Artists

  Electronic edition, 2019. If you want to be notified when Ireland’s next novel is released and get access to exclusive contests, giveaways, and other fantastic stuff, sign up for her mailing list here. Your email address will never be shared and you can unsubscribe at any time.

  Created with Vellum

  To my mother, the one who has always been there to encourage me and believe in me, no matter how silly and outrageous my dreams ever are.

  And to my big sisters, Jodi and Jill, the ones who always seem to know how to glue me back together, no matter how many pieces I break into. You two always have the right kind of glue.

  1

  Hello, Paris

  I lay in bed, my back propped against the wall as I mindlessly traced the rim of the empty beer bottle over and over again. I watched the clock. It was 11:59. I closed my eyes, counting the seconds until it would be midnight, then opened them to see the switch of that one minute.

  The hurt set in, and I grimaced at the pain.

  “Happy Birthday, Evika!” I heard her voice in my head as I pictured her walking toward me with an armful of presents and three cards. Three cards because she could never choose the one she liked the best, so she'd buy them all. At least one of them always had a serious tone where she had underlined the most important words on the inside. The others always had little characters (mice, puppies, kittens, etc.) on the front of them. She'd label them with “you” and “me,” with small arrows pointing to the mom and the child. Every one of the cards would be filled with her perfect, cursive handwriting. It never failed, she'd run out of space for the things she wanted to say, so she would fill out the backside too. It made me smile to think about those little things I still missed, but it hurt just as much when I felt a pierce through my heart every year on this day. The day I lost her.

  I knew I would have to get up in another two hours. I became so frustrated with myself for letting the pain claim me again, denying my body of the sleep it needed. I drank just enough to give myself the type of headache that wouldn't subside for hours. I should have been used to it, I guess.

  I tried closing my eyes, listening to the Celtic music I always had playing during the night. I hated the silence. I had to have either a TV or music to listen to. I let some time pass, but the pain wouldn't subside. I only made it worse by getting out of bed to find the journal she'd given to me for my eighteenth birthday.

  I cleared the streams of tears from my cheeks and laid my head into the pillow. I curled up under my quilt with the journal, clutching it to me as if it were the last piece I had left of her. My eyes stung. My head ached. I just didn't want to move, but I intended on keeping my promise to Joel. I smacked my obnoxious alarm clock. Time for the 2:00 A.M. call. Yawning excessively, I stumbled over to the computer. This whole ritual was wearing on my body, but necessary. I grabbed a blanket and wrapped myself inside of it while I waited for him.

  Joel and I had been best friends since elementary school, and we had been living together for three years in the same apartment. Joel's the neat and tidy gay guy who cooked and cleaned and kept me from drowning in my own messes. I mean that both literally and figuratively. I, however, was the slob of the duo. The artist, the writer, the dreamer, the one with no direction. But somehow, someway, we fit like yin and yang. We were there for each other for anything and everything. We even went to college in the same area, however, school was never my forte. I ran out of enthusiasm, and eventually quit.

  It was hard to let Joel go without it being bothersome. He had just moved to Paris for a study-abroad program. Instead of going to school to be a chef in the local specialty colleges – a much cheaper and practical way to afford the education – he decided he wanted to go to France. It sucked not having him around. He was probably the only person who could get me to agree to waking up in the middle of the night three times a week to talk with him before he went to class.

  I remember the last day we had together before he trotted off across the world. I sat facing him in that booth, admiring his perfectly primped, dirty blond hair.

  “Joel, I can't believe this is our last time for coffee at our little cafe before you hightail it out of here tomorrow.”

  “I know, Ev. It's really gonna suck not having you around every single day, but at least we have email. And you know our Skype deal. 2:00 A.M. I'd bring you with me if I could,” he said, making his famous pouty lips. “Wanna go as a stowaway in my luggage? You're small enough.” He always had crazy ideas.

  “Yeah, right. Jeez, why didn't we think of that before?” I forced a laugh.

  “I mean it though,” Joel was serious again. “I'd take you if you wanted to come. We've been best friends for, well, ever. We've done everything together up till now.”

  I sighed. “I know, Jo Jo.”

  But that was just it; I didn't want to go. Despite the fact that nothing definite was really holding me back from going and exploring the world with my best friend, something still made me want to stay behind. Maybe it was the fact that I never did change well. Me and change was always a bad combo. And Joel knew that. It was something he was always used to with me. I was just happy that he was brave enough not to let my issues stop him from chasing his own dream. I was proud of him.

  “Now please, Evika, one thing I must ask of you is that you don't rent that empty room out to some ho-bag. You need to swear to it.”

  I burst out laughing and spat my coffee across the table. “Jeez, Jo. Tell me how you really feel.”

  “You know what I mean, princess.” His sardonic tone sort of cut me a little. “I don't want to find out that you felt bad for some hag that belongs in slut-zone, and you let her sign a lease. I also don't want you putting off any of the good candidates I'd already set up for you, either. Got it?”

  He knew me too well. Procrastination was my middle name; it should have been my first. “Got it. I promise. I won't rent to any ho-bags, and I'll be sure to meet with the other chicks you validated for me,” I assured him.

  “Good.” Joel seemed satisfied. “Oh, and I almost forgot,” he said. I watched him get into his satchel (aka man-purse), pull out some small pieces of paper from a little pocket on the outside, and extend his arm across the table. “Here, Ev. Take these.” I looked
down. They were cut-out coupons for cleaning products.

  I laughed as I took the coupons. “Still thinking of me, even when you're going off to another world.” I put them in my purse, hoping I wouldn't lose them in the mess already in there. “I'm really gonna miss you, Joel.”

  “I'm really gonna miss you, too, but I guarantee that kitchen is going to miss me way more than you will,” he teased. I was horrible at cleaning my messes in there. I would make macaroni and cheese and have the entire counter covered in God-knows-what. Janitor Joel would come in and do a full scrub-down, something on which he educated me for a full two weeks before his leaving. I was prepared for anything the kitchen would throw at me.

  “This is going to be weird, but I know you'll be fine, Evika. You've got a great head on your shoulders.” He looked down at his latte and then started smirking. “I mean, you may be a little confused up there sometimes, but it's still a good head, nonetheless.”

  “You are so blunt,” I said with a giggle.

  “Would you have me any other way?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “Not a chance, Jo Jo.”

  Finally, a familiar face popped up on the screen, and I adjusted my eyes to see his happy - and very awake - expression on the monitor.

  “Well, good morning, Ev-Bear!” Ah yes. The famous, lasting nicknames from my best friend. They often changed, but that one stuck. “Happy, happy twenty-first birthday! Looks like it was a rough one this time, huh? I think your bags are growing bags,” Joel said, laughing at me. He was so close to the camera I could see up his nose.

  “Yeah, yeah, French boy. You're lucky I agreed to this little set-up. This is totally breaking up my sleeping pattern, and you're not feeling the brunt of it at all,” I said to him, breaking into a yawn.

  “Oh, pish-posh.” He waved his hand at me. “Keeping you on a strict schedule is the only way I can maintain any sanity being this far away from you. You know how nurturing I am.” He grinned widely at me. I felt jealous of how awake he was. Then suddenly, he sucked air and widened his eyes. “Evika Jade Stormer!” Joel's scolding voice whipped me out of my next yawning fit.

  “What?” My eyes focused to see his finger pointing into the camera.

  “I'm gone for a measly few weeks, and you leave the poor kitchen that way?”

  I'd forgotten how bad it looked as I spun around in my seat and almost gasped myself. I saw beer bottles scattered all over the counter, some on their sides and ready to roll off the edge.

  “Ugh,” was all I could get out as I scooted my chair closer toward the wall and angled the entire webcam in a different direction. “Ignore that, Joel. Cut me some slack. It's been a hard week.”

  “Please tell me you didn't binge since I last talked to you.” He sat back into his chair and folded his arms, eyebrows raised.

  I was silent for a few seconds and just sighed deeply before saying anything. “Is that a question, Joel? Because I'm pretty sure you know the answer.” I wiped a few stray tears away. I knew he knew the reason for the binge, and I knew he was trying desperately not to have the conversation about it this time, but it was inevitable. Same day every year. Same thing every year. And this time, worse because he wasn't there with me.

  “Oh girl, please don't make me cry. It's bad enough that I feel like a jackass for leaving you like this. Babe, your mom wouldn't want to see you still mourning. She'd want to see that you've moved on. It's been three years. You need to see someone, a professional. I don't like to say that, but it's true. Something has got to give, Evika. I want you back to happy.”

  “Jo Jo, I know, but I can't help it. Every birthday is like a memory of a milestone,” I said as I remembered the conversations with my mother when I was younger about what we'd call our 'milestone' birthdays.”

  Joel sighed. “Your twenty-first,” he said. “That was supposed to be the Vegas trip.”

  I nodded and clenched my fists. “And on top of that, they still haven't found him yet. How do you think that is supposed to make me any better?”

  “I know, Ev. I know. I wish I could change things. I bet they will find him sooner or later, but as much as losing her hurts, and I'm taking the words from a true and wise friend of mine.” He pointed at me. “There is a reason for everything, and even good can come out of something terrible. You have to believe this, Ev-Bear. Sound familiar?”

  “It just makes more sense when I tell everyone else that.” I sighed heavily, frustrated the subject had gotten as far as it did about my mother. I knew there were other things I wanted to talk about with Joel, and we didn't have much time before he had to get to his first class. “Anyway, change of subject. How did that blind date go Friday?” I tried to sound chipper.

  “Oh, girl!” Joel must have caught that I was done talking about my mom, so he took my bait.

  “So glad you asked. I once was blind, but now I see!”

  I giggled at his quote. “I take it that it went well?”

  He bobbed his head with a grin. “His name is Evan. Kinda cool, his name and your name. Hard thing is I can't call him 'Ev', so I have to find another nickname.”

  “Well, I'm sure you won't have a hard time picking him out a nickname. You are the master,” I said.

  Joel gave me a smug look. “That I am, Ev-Bear. That I am.”

  “Hmm,” I had a thought, “but just remember I'm not going to approve of him until I meet him...er...Skype him? You know my rule, Jo Jo.”

  “Yes, Miss Stormer, I know. But if you recall, I'm not the one who dated a crazy, alcoholic whack-job a few years ago.” I gave him a salty look. “But I know. I'll let you use your gift on him as soon as we can arrange some time.” He sighed and smirked into the camera at me.

  Even though he gave me a hard time about it, he loved the fact that I had a great intuition about others and could see people for who they really are. It didn't always work so well for myself though. Mostly what I believed were even the worst kinds of people had some sort of good in them. I tried to find that and usually did. My mother always told me I had a gift. I guess, in a sense, it was.

  “Oh, Joel, I totally forgot to tell you. They're shutting me off in a few days. I just got the notice in the mail yesterday...and that's not the only thing getting shut off,” I said under my breath as I thought of the utility bills.

  “What?” he yelped, putting his hands to his hips. “Evika, this is exactly why I told you that you needed to get a roommate. I knew this was going to happen. Next thing you know, you're going to get evicted!” He threw his hands in the air. I knew he felt that my irresponsibility was partly, if not all, his fault.

  “I know, I know.” I gave him some pouty lips, but I was never good at it like he was. “But, Jo Jo, all the interviewees were ho-bags.”

  “Oh, for cripe's sake, Evika.” He shook his head at me. “You probably only held like one interview, didn't you?”

  He was right. I only held one official interview. She was in a band and insisted on using the room for their practices. Big. Hell. No. The other two interviews I had set up were non-existent since I forgot about the first one up until seven hours later; I'd ignored my phone all day. And the other one I actually showed up for and went to the cafe to meet up with her, but I noticed she was sitting in Joel's and my booth, and I just couldn't bring myself to going up and talking to her. She looked like a very nice person, but I found it odd that she had to sit in that booth, when all the others were perfectly clean and empty.

  I sighed and just shook my head at him, giving him a little smile. “It's just hard to fill that room, Joel.”

  He looked at me incredulously through the webcam. “Hmm.” He folded his arms. “I think what you mean is that it's too hard for you to fill that void, Evika. I have a feeling this is more than just who is the perfect candidate for the room.”

  He was partly right. After he said that, I realized there was a void there; and not just Joel's absence. It was bigger than that. Bringing in another person into my life and having them “leave” was not
something I wanted to go through again. My doors were shut, and I didn't really intend on letting anyone else in.

  “Oh, speaking of my twenty-first and ho-bags---” I started.

  Dissatisfied, he said, “Let me guess. Brittonia and her ho-bags are taking you out?”

  It didn't shock me that he already knew. They were all more his friends than my own, but Brittonia always rubbed him the wrong way. She started becoming Miss Popular back in high school and threw Joel and me to the curb. Her father's company took off, and the whole family got a complete makeover. New house, new cars, new schools, new clothes, new friends, and new personalities. Could money really do that to someone? Then her mother passed away from cancer when we were in eleventh grade, and Brittonia became something else: the worst snob in history. I really tried not to see her in that way though. I really believed she was still Brit; she just needed someone to stick around as a true friend until she bounced back.

  After that, I was the only one to give her a chance, but she still pushed hard to keep Joel updated on her social life and events going on with her. I don't know. It may have had something to do with her self-fulfillment, but she needed to show that she actually had a care for someone other than herself after her family's windfall. I would have to spend my birthday bar-hopping with Brit and the other three, arrogant bean poles, but at least I'd get out.

  “Hmm. What'd she do? Call you and gloat about her plans or just send you a text?” I half-laughed.

  “Both, actually. Ugh, that girl irks me to no end. You'd better watch your back tomorrow night, Evika. She is not a safe person to go out and drink with. She'll probably attract like sixteen diseases before she even gets home!”